Healing Hearts
by Reese1
Summary: Takaki, still struggling to move on, has a chance encounter with Kanae that will change his life. Sequel to 5 Centimeters Per Second.
1. One More Time, One More Chance

"If I could just have one more chance…"

It was Kanae's wish of a lifetime, for a love she had yet to give up on.

Kanae softly whispered these words to no one in particular, except to God above, hoping that her prayer would be answered, as she wandered aimlessly through the streets of Tokyo. To her, coming from the countryside, she viewed Tokyo as an intimidating place, almost a foreign country. It had been ten years since she had last seen Takaki Tohno, and she wondered if she was doing the right thing by trying to find him. She had no idea what his life situation was: if he was single or not, what kind of job he was doing, or where he was exactly. The impetus for her visit to Tokyo had been a conversation she had had with her friends, Saki and Yukko. They had asked her if she was seeing anyone, to which she had replied in the negative. Their conversation again turned to Takaki Tohno. They all knew she had fallen in love with him, in junior high, and that part of her still held on to that love. It was one of the reasons why she had declined an invitation from her surfer friend Ryo to go out with him. She felt something in her heart telling her that she could not move on until she at least had seen him one more time. Part of her longed to see Takaki Tohno again, to see what would happen if they met again. She had even gone so far as to travel to Tokyo with the vague idea of finding him. By some miracle, her sister had managed to track down Takaki's parents' phone number by reaching out to his high school's alumni office.

She had just learned Takaki's phone number while sitting in a park. For a moment, she thought of calling him, but at the last moment, she felt her courage desert her. She thought, I came this far, maybe this is enough. After all, what was I thinking, this is such a big city, what did I expect by coming here with no real plan? Then she noticed someone out of the corner of her eye, and he noticed her too, from a distance of twenty yards.

The familiar figure turned toward her, hesitantly, as if unsure if he recognized her.

Kanae stood up from the park bench. Could it really be him? The man she had loved for so long stood alone before her.

"Sumida?" Takaki asked. The name, for so long absent from his lips, now came easily to him. "Is that you?"

Kanae nodded and they stepped toward each other, slowly, as if in a dance, with each partner unsure of their next move.

They stood a few feet apart from each other, seeing the years of change worn in each other's faces. All the years spent apart seemed to vanish in a heartbeat.

"It's me, Tohno," Kanae whispered. For a moment, neither knew what to say next. Their chance meeting was so sudden, so unexpected.

Then Tohno smiled at her. "It's good to see you again," he said.

Kanae stepped forward and put her arms around him, surprising him a little. She was even more surprised when she felt his arms enfold her, hugging her back. Never before had she felt his arms around her; it was a feeling she could only have dreamed of during her lonely adolescent nights. All the emotions she had known so well and done her best to suppress came bubbling to the surface. She could not help but think back to their last encounter…

_They were at the airport and it was time for Takaki to leave. They had finished high school. He was leaving Tanegashima for good, and this was goodbye. Kanae knew this was her last chance to tell him how she felt. She had wanted so badly to tell him the day of the space probe launch, but something held her back – the realization that he was looking for something that was more than what she could offer him. Still, she couldn't let him leave without him knowing how she felt about her. _

_"Well," Takaki said with a sad smile. "I guess this is goodbye…"_

_"Tohno,"Kanae said._

_"Yes?"_

_"There's something I needed to tell you."_

_Kanae bit her lip and struggled to blurt out the words she had been holding in her heart for so long._

_"I love you," she said. "I've always loved you, Tohno. Thank you."_

_Just saying the words felt so good, so liberating. Somehow, she had held out hope that he would love her back. She thought, there must be some way for my feelings to reach him. If only I could spend enough time with him, let him see the real me, put myself on his radar, he would love me back. She desperately wanted to believe there was some way that she could change the way he felt about her, when deep in her heart she knew he didn't feel the same way._

_Takaki's eyes opened in surprise, as if he had been completely oblivious to her feelings all along._

_She could see it in his eyes, the conflict. There was a part of him which realized how kind and caring a woman she was, but there was something that got in the way, a film of opacity that obscured things and prevented him from seeing her as someone he could share his life with. Kanae could not have known at the time, but it was his unresolved feelings for Akari which kept the doors of his heart shut out to anyone else that he could love. Kanae knew what his answer would be. She could see that, after the initial surprise, there was no spark, only sadness, the kind of sadness that comes when you have to say something to disappoint a good friend. From the beginning, he had never seen her as anything more than a good friend, or even a sister._

_"I'm sorry I can't return your feelings," he said. He had that calmness, that gentleness, in his voice, which she loved so much._

_He put his bag down and stepped forward to hug her one last time. _

_"You'll be all right," he said. "I know you will."_

_But what about you? Kanae wondered silently. Will you be okay? Will that void in your heart ever fill?_

_I thought I could change you. I thought that if I only tried hard enough, I could get you to love me. I know better now._

_Kanae pondered those thoughts as she suppressed her tears and hugged him tightly, for the last time._

Kanae stepped back from Takaki and the two looked at each other. Takaki reflected on Kanae. She looked much the same, older, but prettier. There was a confidence and a self assurance that she didn't have before. He noticed the tears welling up in her eyes.

"Sumida?"

Kanae hastily wiped the tears from her eyes.

"I'm sorry, it's just that I'm so happy to see you."

Takaki pointed to the bench. "Why don't we sit down?"

Their conversation started out halting and awkward, but gradually they started to remember the time they had spent together in junior high and high school.

"How have you been, Sumida? What are you doing now?"

"I'm a nurse working at a hospital, back home."

"Home-"

"Tanegashima," Kanae said. She smiled and prepared herself for the worst as she asked Takaki about himself. "And what about you, Tohno? What are you doing now? Are you married?"

Takaki laughed, but Kanae detected a hint of pain in his laugh. Like someone trying to laugh off a hurtful wound, not wanting to let anyone know how deeply it stung.

"Me?" Takaki said. "No, I'm not married. I don't have a girlfriend either. In fact, I don't even have a job... I quit mine just earlier this week."

"Really? I'm sorry to hear that."

"It's okay, don't feel bad for me. I'll be fine. I mean, my job sucked anyway. I'm looking for a new one."

Secretly, Kanae felt joy in her heart to learn that Takaki, like herself, was single.

"So what brings you here to Tokyo?" Takaki asked.

Kanae blushed faintly and turned to look him in the eye.

"You did," she said.

She blushed harder and averted her eyes for a moment, afraid of what he would say. She was remembering all the hurt from that day in the airport. But she was here now, this was her second chance of a lifetime. There was no point in prevaricating. It was her moment, the chance she had longed for, the hope and the dream that maybe, just maybe, this time, things would be different.

"I came here looking for you," she said, looking down at her lap and feeling her voice falter. "I just wanted to see you one more time."

There was a long pause of silence. Slowly, Kanae found the courage to look again to face Takaki, seated next to her. He gave her a faint smile. There was something different in his eyes this time. It wasn't as cold and distant as it was that day, ten years ago.

"Sometimes," Takaki, said reflectively, "I've thought back to that day at the airport in Tanegashima, when we said goodbye and you confessed to me. I know that I hurt you. I'm so sorry, Sumida. I'm sorry I never noticed your feelings..."

"I thought about it too," Kanae said. "Sometimes, when I'm trying to sleep and I can't, just tossing and turning, I try to think of something calm and quiet. And I would think of you, sitting on the hillside in the night, under the stars. And for some reason, that image would relax me and help me to sleep..."

Kanae felt her courage coming back and she looked him in the eye.

"I never stopped loving you, Tohno. I tried my best to forget, pursued other relationships, but they never worked out. I just didn't know if I could love anyone as much as I loved you. I thought, if I could just go to where you are, if I could just see you one more time, if I could just look into your heart and know the truth, that would be enough for me. I wouldn't need anything else. I could move on. But I know there was something you were struggling with, now. I never understood it at the time. There was something in your heart that was keeping you from loving someone, anyone. I wanted to show you how I changed, and see how you changed, if I would still feel the same way after meeting you. I-I-"

Her voice choked off as the tears welled up. When she looked at Takaki, she was surprised to see tears forming in his eyes as well.

"I'm glad that you're here, Sumida," he said. He felt all the emotions welling up within him, the depth of his loneliness, and they overwhelmed him. He leaned forward and put his face in his hands. He felt his body wracked by a sob, and he tried his best to stifle it. He wanted to tell her all the things he was feeling at the moment, but could not bring himself to say the words.

_Can't you see_, he wanted to tell her. _I'm broken inside. I lost everything, my job, my girlfriend, my direction in life. All because I couldn't move on from Akari and the chance I missed with her. We should have grown up together. We should have had a real relationship, gone to movies together, gone to dances together, watched the sakura petals fall in the spring at our special spot. We should have spent the rest of our lives loving each other. Marriage, children, family. We should have grown old together. But we lost that chance. And I could never forgive myself for losing hold of the love I felt for her, that night under the tree in the snow, when we had our first kiss and we held each other as tight as we could. I couldn't allow myself to be happy. I couldn't bring myself to let anyone else in and see the feelings of my heart. But I needed to try. I couldn't go on like this. I needed to see a friendly face. If there was just one person in this city who could bring a smile to my face, I needed to find that person._

Kanae's tears were quickly abolished by sudden alarm at Takaki's sudden show of emotion. She had never seen him sad before, or shaken by anything before. Her image of him was always someone calm, cool, collected, never fazed by anything. He was the rock upon which she could always rely. She knew now that wasn't the case. Deep inside was a man every bit as vulnerable and insecure as she was.

"Tohno? What's wrong?"

She moved to put a hand gently on his shoulder.

Takaki put up his hand. Got to get it together.

"It's-it's okay. Give me a second. I'm all right."

He thought back to what had just happened a short while ago, when he could have sworn that he and Akari had passed each other at a train crossing...

_He walked with his head down, not looking at what was in front of him. Perhaps, in a way, he had always done that, never seen what was in front of him, never looked to the future, only dwelling in the past and what was once lost. He felt the brush of air as she passed by next to him. From the corner of his eye, he spotted her shoulder length hair and the slender profile of her face. He even thought he could smell her perfume. _

_His heart stopped, moments after they passed each other. The realization was slow to hit him, and it did not dawn on him until too late._

_Akari?_

_Takaki was at the other end of the train crossing by then. He turned his head to the other side. He could see the woman, who from behind was dressed in a coat over a blouse and skirt, with high heels, also turn toward the railroad. Just when he thought he would be able to see her face and make eye contact, the trains rushed between them. Seconds passed painfully. He desperately wanted the trains to be done already, so he could see her. He wanted one more chance. Just to rush to the other side and see her one more time. One more time, one more chance, just one, to tell her all the things he had wanted to tell her but never got the chance-to see her and let her know that he loved her and had always loved her. _

_But she was gone. _

_It was as if she had never existed, a cruel apparition, come to meet him and tease him with a reminder of better times. She had moved on. Perhaps it was time he did the same._

_"Goodbye, Akari," Takaki whispered._

"I'm okay," Takaki whispered, hastily wiping away his tears with his coat sleeve.

He turned to Kanae and saw the love and concern in her eyes. It calmed him. Perhaps, he thought, this is what he needed. The chance to start his life over again.

"It's getting dark," he observed as the two watched the sun set over the Tokyo skyline.

He turned to Kanae.

"Would you like to go for dinner?"

Kanae's face brightened up at once. "Yes! I would love to, Tohno-"

"Takaki."

"What?"

"Please, just call me Takaki. We've known each other a long time, right?"

"Yes... Takaki."

The name rolled off her tongue like a foreign language, but she wanted to say it again and again. She had never addressed him by his first name before. Her heart skipped a beat with the hope that, perhaps, bit by bit, she could grow closer to him.

"Call me Kanae."


	2. Time Recaptured

That night, Takaki and Kanae had dinner together for the first time. It was a small Italian restaurant near where Takaki lived, the same one that he used to enjoy taking his ex-girlfriend Risa to. He liked that place for the atmosphere, dim ambient lighting, European style paintings on hung on the walls, and the candles that lit every table.

As Takaki and Kanae entered to the hostess greeting them, he felt a twinge of trepidation and regret. So many memories of Risa lingered here. They sat at the very table the two used to sit at, the quiet booth in the corner, where they could talk in relative privacy.

_It's time to make new memories._

Takaki's fears soon vanished with Kanae's company. He found himself, without meaning to, admiring Kanae as the two sat across from each other, separated now only by the length of a small dinner table, with a candle between them. He liked the way the flickering candle light danced across her eyes. He had never noticed her eyes before, so soft and gentle. He had never noticed the quiet radiance of her smile. He had never noticed her hair, a dark shade of brown, tapering down the back of her neck, with a few strands lingering over her forehead. He had never noticed the rhythms and inflections of her voice, carrying her emotions with every word.

He had never noticed how beautiful Kanae was.

_Why did I never notice her before?_

They talked with ease throughout the entire dinner. Takaki even found himself, to his surprise, deliberately ordering more food than he could really eat, like appetizers and desserts, just to prolong the time with her. It was as if ten years had vanished in a heartbeat, all the walls between them had come down, the feelings of hurt and disappointment of unrealized dreams between them had evaporated, and they were seeing each other, truly _seeing_ each other, face to face, for the first time. When they were finished, and Takaki had settled the bill, they walked out of the restaurant together.

The night was still young. They were both too full to eat anymore, so at Kanae's suggestion, they roamed around the streets of Takaki's neighborhood. Almost without meaning to, Takaki and Kanae found themselves nearing the very spot that had once been so meaningful to him in the past, the sakura tree over the stone wall, where the street made a U-turn and parked cars lined the curb, covered by the fallen petals. The sakura flowers were in bloom that week, but in the darkness, there wasn't very much to see in the dim street light.

Takaki paused near the stone wall and looked up at the solitary sakura tree. Memories of his childhood with Akari flitted across his field of vision.

Kanae, noticing Takaki's sudden silence, stopped next to him and gazed at him thoughtfully. There was something about this lonely tree that held a special significance to him, she realized. She opened her mouth to ask him about it, but something stopped her. It was the sad glaze in his eyes, the downturn of the corner of his mouth which she spied from his side that dissuaded her. Perhaps, she surmised, this tree held a painful memory for him. She felt a surge of interest, a sudden desire to know what pained him so. She wanted to be able to share this pain, this burden.

Takaki felt Kanae's hand touch his shoulder.

"Takaki?" she asked. "Is something wrong?"

Takaki turned toward Kanae and shook off the bad feelings that had gripped him so suddenly. He forced an awkward smile and said, "It's all right, Kanae. I was just remembering something from a long time ago."

He turned toward the street and pointed to the road ahead. "Let's go on this way," he said.

At length, they had returned to the very park where they had first encountered one another.

Takaki looked at his watch. It was already nearly 10:00 PM. Where had the time gone? It passed so quickly in Kanae's company.

"It's getting late," Takaki said. "Where were you staying?"

"Oh," Kanae said. "I was just staying at a hotel near here."

Takaki started walking Kanae back to her hotel.

"How long were you going to stay here in Tokyo for?"

Kanae flushed in embarrassment.

"A week... I didn't think very far ahead. I never thought of what would happen if I didn't find you. I had no other plans to do anything. My plan was to try to find your number and call you, see if you wanted to meet with me. I guess if I didn't find you, one week was all I could afford, and then I would just have to go back home. Pretty lame, huh?"

She laughed as they reached the hotel.

It was time for goodbye, but neither was ready to depart. They lingered in front of the building, on the sidewalk, making idle small talk, until the moment of parting came.

"I had a wonderful time," Kanae said, smiling widely. She had never felt so happy and hopeful before. It was like that thrill she had gotten when she had caught that wave and decided that that would be the sign she needed, the sign she was waiting for all along, to confess to Takaki how she felt about him. This feeling was so much more real, so much more satisfying.

"I did too," Takaki said. "Can I see you tomorrow?"

"Yes!" Kanae practically burst out, jumping toward him, wanting to hug him again. She had been so nervous up until that moment, wondering if he would ask her out again, if this was all they would share together, if this was all the happiness she would realize. Slowly it dawned on her that no, she wasn't dreaming. She was drawing closer to Takaki, just her, and this time, his eyes were on her, not some far away object beyond the horizon.

"I've got all the time in the world, I guess," Takaki said. "After all, I'm unemployed at the moment."

He gave a self-deprecating laugh.

"What's your number?" Takaki asked.

"Here," Kanae said, pulling out her cell phone. "I'll call you."

Takaki pulled out his phone and felt it vibrating in his hand.

"You had my number?"

"Hey, you know," Kanae said, "I worked hard to get this number."

The two laughed together.

"What time shall we meet?" Kanae asked.

"How about noon? We could spend the day together."

"I'd like that. Well, good night, Takaki."

Kanae leaned in toward Takaki and kissed him on the cheek. The two of them closed their eyes. Takaki thought he could sense some of Kanae's feelings in that kiss, and he took in the feeling of her lips brushing against his skin.

That week, the time passed more quickly for Takaki than he ever felt it had for him. When his mind was always filled with thoughts of Akari, the days were long, life came to a standstill, and he always pondered the speed at which he was living. The faster he wanted to move forward in his life, the slower the second hands ticked on the clock. What would he have to do to see Akari again? How old would he be when he would meet her again? How many years would he have to wait for his moment, his chance, to live the life he thought he should have always lived? No longer was his mind consumed with the slowness of time or the ever receding shores of the past. He could wake up each morning, knowing that there was something he could look forward to that day. Gradually, he realized that he looked forward to seeing Kanae. The thought of seeing Kanae, spending time with her, and recapturing the time they had lost, gave his heart a feeling of lightness, the feeling that he could float in space itself, weightless and carefree.

Each day they would meet in the mid or late morning. They would then go for a drink, eat, go for long walks, catch a show, and engage in sightseeing, all the while talking and getting to know each other more and more. But several times, during the week, their meandering course would take them to that one spot, that one fork in the road where the stalwart sakura tree stood watch over the passage of time, and Kanae would notice Takaki fall silent in contemplation. She wondered if it was somehow connected to the look of far off longing she had always observed when the two of them were in school together.

"Takaki," Kanae said on the sixth day, as the two of them sipped ice tea, sitting on a river bank at dusk, "can I ask you something?"

"Sure," Takaki said. "What is it?"

Above them, on the sidewalk, they could hear the chatter of school children as they walked by. In the distance, further away, they could hear the solitary barking of a golden retriever.

"Every time we walk by that sakura tree, something happens to you. Your face changes and you go quiet."

Takaki closed his eyes and sighed. Of course Kanae had noticed. He reached into his shirt pocket and pulled a cigarette from the pack. He had picked up an unfortunate habit of smoking during his young adulthood, something he had picked up from his colleagues and friends, along with drinking. He tried not to smoke in Kanae's presence, but sometimes he still got the urge. Thinking about Akari always hurt, and he would find himself comforted by taking a long slow drag on a cigarette.

"Did something happen to you there?"

Kanae turned from watching the streaking effervescent glints of the sun along the river water to look at Takaki, but felt immediate dismay when she noticed the change in his expression.

"I'm sorry, I don't mean to… I mean, if it's something too personal, you're not ready to share with me… I'll understand-"

Takaki opened his eyes and took a deep breath. His relationship with Risa had been sabotaged because he couldn't share the feelings of his heart. Maybe it was time to let it go.

He turned toward Kanae.

"There was someone… a girl that I once knew."

"What was her name?"

"Her name was Akari. We met in elementary school. We were best friends. We studied together, read books together, did clubs together, went for walks together. We did everything together. I—I loved her, Kanae."

Kanae felt her heart would stop, hearing this, but somehow, she needed to know. She saw Takaki's lips trembling as he recalled this story, and it brought a fresh ache of longing to her heart.

"But everything changed. Our parents moved, and we ended up far away from each other. We managed to meet when we were thirteen. We saw each other one last time. When we kissed, I knew that we would never be together, that the distance would be too much for us. We tried to stay connected through letters, but it faded away, until we lost touch.

"One time, when we were kids, we'd made this promise, that we would meet again the next year to watch the sakura trees bloom in the spring. It was that tree, Kanae. That's why, every time I pass that tree, I think about it. I think about the promise that we never could keep.

"I tried to move on with my life. I tried to have new relationships, but I—something would always happen to me. There was something that kept me from moving on. I couldn't forgive myself for letting go of that love I'd felt, because I thought it was so pure, so true."

Kanae, hearing this for the first time, realized the truth at last. Everything made sense finally. The distance, the longing gaze toward the sky, that feeling that he was always chasing something so far away—it made sense to her.

"When we were in school together, it was her you were thinking about? All those times I saw you sitting on the hill at night, writing text messages on your phone, staring into space—you were thinking about her?"

Takaki nodded.

"Even though you never got to speak to her or see her, you always thought of her?"

"That's why I couldn't return your feelings back then," Takaki said. "I avoided getting close to anyone. But I'm trying to move on. I know I can. I—I'm so sorry for hurting you, Kanae."

"It's all right," Kanae said softly. "Thank you for sharing that with me. I needed to understand. I always thought maybe you had a girlfriend in Tokyo or something. I never realized you were alone all that time. I feel like I know you a little more now. Each day, I'm learning more and more about you."

Kanae moved closer next to Takaki.

"I want to know you more and more, Takaki."

Takaki smiled sardonically. "Are you sure? You might not like what you see. Maybe… maybe I'm not such a nice guy."

_But you are_, Takaki, Kanae left her thoughts unsaid. _You're the kindest man I ever knew. That's what I loved about you. What I still love about you._

"I know we've all made mistakes," Kanae said. "I know maybe there are some things you might not want to show me. But they all made you who you are."

Kanae looked down at the space between them, down at his hand which rested on the ground next to the empty can of ice tea. She wanted so much to reach out to him, to touch him, to send her feelings to him. Slowly, inch by inch, Kanae moved her hand closer to Takaki's, until their hands were almost touching. She worried how he would react. Would he withdraw his hand if she touched him? A moment of fear gripped her, but she thought to herself, _I can't allow myself to be afraid. I can't be afraid to be hurt. Otherwise I will never move forward._

Kanae gently placed her hand on Takaki's. Takaki's eyes registered a feeling of surprise, but quickly relaxed. He didn't move, or withdraw his hand. He closed his eyes and savored the warmth of her hand. Their fingers intertwined, and Kanae squeezed his hand. He could sense her feelings being sent to him; it was as if Kanae were saying to him, _I'll always love you._

"There's something else I wanted to ask you," Kanae said.

"Yes?"

"I have to go back home soon, and I was wondering… I was wondering if maybe you would like to come back with me. You could stay with us-me and my family. You could still work on finding a new job, just take the time to rest, recover, heal..."

Takaki looked at her with surprise.

"Are you sure? I don't want to be a bother to your family—"

"Oh no, they would love to have you. _I_ would too, of course."

"Well," he said, "I do have the time, I suppose…"

"I just don't want to say goodbye," Kanae said anxiously. "This past week, being with you, has been the most fun I've had with someone in a long time, and I…"

She felt herself starting to lose heart, worried that he would say no, just when they had found each other and things were going so well-

"I'd really like that."

"Really? That's great!" Kanae said, elated. She jumped up and pulled Takaki to his feet.

"Let's get something to eat! And then I need to call my mom and dad, and my sis, and you can see my friends too… we can do all kinds of things together… it's going to be so much fun having you visit, I can't believe it…"

She was so excited, the words just rushed out in a hurried flood. Takaki just smiled and listened as the two walked away from the river bank, hand in hand, together.


	3. Closure

On his last day in Tokyo, early that morning, before meeting with Kanae, Takaki found himself drawn once more to the sakura tree, the same one that carried so many memories for him. He knew that he would be leaving for far away Tanegashima that evening, and he was unsure when he would be returning. The cherry blossom trees would only be in bloom until the end of the week, he believed, so it would be over any day now. He wanted to see the sakura in bloom, just one more time.

The sun was out that day, and the skies were clear. He stood there, alone on the sidewalk, pondering the tall stone wall with lush greenery snaking down the surface from the base of the tree. He leaned against the steel rails that lined the walkway and gazed at the large sakura tree.

_Many things changed for me_, Takaki pondered_, but you never changed. You stood here and watched us live our lives. Every year, your flowers would bloom, and then fade, only to come back with the promise of a new bloom. And each year would be the same. But those who passed under your leaves would never stay the same. How many lovers, like us, walked under your sturdy arms, how many promises were made here, how many tears were shed here? _

The light pink flower petals, so ephemeral in their beauty, fell from the tree, one by one. Takaki watched the zig zag path each petal took as it slowly but inexorably fell to the ground. Each one for him reminded him of the vicissitudes of life itself, how nothing ever goes as planned, how sometimes even the most earnest promises go unfulfilled.

He closed his eyes and continued his internal monologue.

_Something's happened to me. I'm not the boy I used to be. I know we made a promise, Akari, to always be together. I tried so hard to hold on to our feelings. If I could just see you one last time, hear your voice one more time… _

Then, at the periphery of his hearing, he heard soft footsteps, and a voice he thought he would never hear again in his life—

"Takaki?"

Takaki froze. He knew that voice, it was the same soft voice he had remembered all these years, carried in his memory, trying his best to hold on to and never forget. It was the voice he had yearned to hear, just one last time. So much tenderness was embedded into that voice. He felt a lump in his throat and turned around slowly. Part of him was afraid to find that no one would be there, that it was only a ghost or a trick of his imagination, like the dreams he had had of her that felt so real, he was heartbroken each morning on awakening.

Akari stood behind him, dressed nicely, in a blouse and skirt, carrying over one shoulder her handbag, and holding a shopping bag with the other.

Takaki looked down at her left hand and noticed the diamond ring on her finger.

"Akari…"

He was speechless. All this time, he had envisioned what he would say to her, but now that he was seeing her once more, the words failed him.

She slowly stepped forward and stood next to him and they watched the sakura tree together.

"We promised, didn't we?" Akari said. "We promised we'd watch the sakura flowers bloom one day."

Takaki nodded. He felt overwhelmed by his emotions. So many regrets of all the words that had gone unsaid, like that love letter that had been blown away in the wind, came back to him, and he felt the tears well up in his eyes. He raised his hands to his face to wipe them away, not wanting Akari to see him like this.

"I wasn't strong enough," Takaki said. "I wasn't able to tell you how I felt about you. I wasn't able to overcome all the distance between us… forgive me, Akari."

Akari looked to him in surprise and felt some of the same emotions coming back to her, feelings she thought she had forgotten so long ago.

"I loved you, Akari. I always have, and I always will."

Akari gazed at him silently and could see in that moment, all the things that Takaki had gone through. She could tell without him saying anything, how he had struggled to move on but found himself haunted by the past, unable to truly live his life, unable to love. He was a captive, imprisoned by the chains of the past and a love that he was unable to let go of. She could tell how much he had suffered. In that moment, she knew she needed to help him let go.

"Takaki…" Akari said softly as tears streamed down her cheeks. "I loved you too. I want you to know that, in all the time we were apart from one another, I cherished the memory of our time together. I want you to know I thought about you all these years too, and prayed for your happiness. I still do pray for that, Takaki."

Takaki bit his lip and nodded, the tears streaming down his face. He tried to regain his composure.

"You're… getting married?"

Akari smiled as she lifted her ring to her eye level. "Yes."

"That's… that's wonderful… what kind of man is he?"

"Yuichi? We met in college. He's kind… strong… he always protects me…"

"You taught me that, Takaki. You showed me what love was, what I needed to look for."

They stood in silence for a few beats.

"What about you? Are you with anyone now?"

"There's someone in my life," Takaki said. "She's gentle… sensitive… I like her… I feel, maybe I have a future with her…"

"Really?" Akari said with a smile of genuine gladness. "I'm so happy for you."

They turned back to watch the flower petals again. Takaki held out his hand to catch one.

"Five centimeters per second," Takaki said.

Akari turned to him in question.

"You told me that, remember? That sakura petals fall at a speed of five centimeters per second. It seemed so fast, so quick. The time for the flower petals to fall from this tree, was like the time that we were given with each other. It seemed so short. And I just kept thinking that it isn't fair. This is not how it is supposed to be. I should have been able to make something happen for us. I blamed myself. That's why I…"

"It wasn't your fault. It was no one's fault," Akari said. "Please, I want you to be able to look back on me with a smile. You were my first love, Takaki. You were my first kiss. That's precious to a girl, you know."

Takaki smiled. "You were my first, too."

Akari looked up the road.

"I have to go now," she said. "I was here in the city to do some things for the wedding, and I just wanted to stop by and see the sakura tree while I was here."

They turned to face each other.

"Think we'll ever meet again?" Takaki wondered as they stepped forward into one final embrace. He knew at that moment, they would never see each other again, not in this lifetime.

"I think so," Akari said, perhaps thinking the same thing as they stepped out of each other's arms. "Wherever we go, no matter how far apart we may be—part of you will always be with me."

Akari took a step backward, away from Takaki. "Remember."

"Goodbye," Takaki said as he waved to her.

Akari waved one final time, before turning to go on her way. Takaki watched her shrink into the distance and fade out of sight. He turned to the tree one last time. The weight of everything that had been exchanged between them, the feelings that had finally been shared, broke him down, and he sank to his knees in tears. He cried unabashedly, letting go of all his pain and regret, but for the first time, his tears were mixed with something new and unexpected. For some reason he could not explain, he found himself laughing through his tears. It was the feeling of lightness of heart, that he had never experienced once since meeting Akari, that filled him, and he felt a tremendous weight being lifted off his shoulders. Akari had done this for him. With her loving words, she had given him one final gift.

He rose to his feet and wiped his face with his coat sleeve.

"Thank you, Akari," he whispered as he walked away.


	4. Coming Home

The plane carried Takaki and Kanae back to Tanegashima, bearing along with them all their hopes and dreams for the future. Sitting now on the plane next to Takaki, Kanae could scarcely believe, ten years ago, their last encounter at an airport had been such a tearful one. She made no reference to that day, however, because that day was too painful a memory for both of them. Takaki had been like that rocket, launching into space, leaving Tanegashima in the distance to chase the stars, to be forgotten, never to return. Back then, he could not wait to leave. He did not know where he wanted to be, only that he needed to go far away. He did not even have a goal in mind at the time. His actions were driven not by the desire to see Akari, but only by the desire to escape into the vague promise of a brighter future that lay ahead in Tokyo. Chasing him all this time, was a much slower rocket, the girl who always seemed to just skirt by and barely make it, never really knowing what she wanted out of life. She knew only that she had always wanted Takaki to be a part of it.

Takaki pondered that day at the airport as well, sitting in the window seat and watching the islands pass by 30,000 feet beneath them. He felt Kanae resting her head on his shoulder as she leaned against him. Looking downward on her, he observed the soft rhythm of her breathing. He lightly brushed a stray tendril of hair away from her eyes. Watching her, she seemed both strong and fragile at the same time. She had been strong enough to come to Tokyo and take one last chance at finding him. But her heart bore the deep wounds of a love unrequited, leaving her reluctant to open her heart for another man, the way she had with Takaki.

"Takaki?" she whispered.

"Yes?"

"What are you thinking?"

"Just about everything we went through, to reach this point together. If only we hadn't lost so much time-"

Kanae gently put a finger over Takaki's mouth to silence him.

"Takaki, we're still young. We still have so much ahead of us. Let's not regret the past. Let's just look ahead to our future."

That night, after completing the long journey from Tokyo to Tanegashima, Takaki and Kanae had dinner with her parents. For Kanae's parents, it was their first time meeting Takaki, who they only knew as the boy who would accompany their daughter home occasionally from school. They were both pleasantly surprised when Kanae had asked their permission to have Takaki visit with them. Kanae had never shared her feelings with her parents, just her sister.

Takaki bowed before them as he stood next to a beaming Kanae outside their front door.

"Thank you for your hospitality."

"Such a fine young man," Mrs. Sumida declared as she stepped forward and hugged him. She was shorter than Kanae, a little on the stout side, with black hair that came down to her shoulders.

"So nice to meet you, Takaki," Mr. Sumida said as he grasped Takaki's hand with both of his and shook it vigorously. He was slender, taller, and bespectacled, with brown hair that showed streaks of grey. Takaki reflected on both of Kanae's parents, whom he had seen before only once, briefly, on their high school graduation day. He decided, after some thinking, that Kanae took more after her father.

"You know, this is a really momentous occasion," Mr. Sumida said, "I do not believe Kanae has ever brought home a man before."

"Dad!" Kanae cried, blushing fiercely. "Could you please not say embarrassing stuff like that out loud?"

The others laughed.

"Is that really true?" Takaki asked Kanae as they walked down the hall into the dining room, surprised by that bit of information.

"Well, yeah," Kanae said in a low voice, out of her parents' hearing, rubbing her fingertips together in distraction, "After you left, I never really got close enough to anyone to the point where I wanted them to meet my parents. I've never had a relationship in my whole life that lasted even three months."

She stopped herself and gave an anxious glance toward Takaki.

"I hope we can change that," she said, and Takaki smiled.

The four of them sat down to dinner. Mrs. Sumida had prepared sukiyaki. Over dinner, Kanae's parents asked everything they could of Takaki, wanting to find out as much as possible about him. To Takaki, it truly was one of the most delightful meals he had ever received, rivaled only by the dinner he had shared with Akari that night at the Iwafune train station.

"I really appreciate you letting me stay here for a while," Takaki said. "I hope it's not a bother to you."

"Not at all," Mr. Sumida said. "Our eldest daughter moved out after she got married, so her room is open for you to stay in. We heard about you leaving your last job. What are you going to do?"

"I've been sending my resumes for other companies, been looking for a new job as a computer programmer," Takaki explained. "It seems it might take longer than I thought it would."

"Where are you trying to get a job? Still going to be in Tokyo?"

"I—I haven't decided yet," Takaki said. "Up until just recently, I was only applying for jobs in Tokyo."

"Maybe," Mrs. Sumida suggested, "you might try getting a job nearer to here. I'm sure you could. Kanae would sure like that, isn't that right, Kanae?"

Everyone turned to look at Kanae, who blushed once again. It felt awkward to have her love life discussed out loud like this, but in a way, part of her liked having it spoken of, and out in the open. It was the same feeling she had gotten back in high school when she and her friends discussed their love interests, and each time Yukko or Saki asked her how things were going with Takaki, she would feel a sense of excitement. Outwardly, she would pretend to be embarrassed and act coy, but inwardly, she relished having her "situation" with Takaki discussed. Hearing her name in connection with his made it, in her mind, more real, somehow. The same thing would happen when other classmates would tease her about her "boyfriend" Takaki. She would regretfully wave them off, informing them that he wasn't really her boyfriend, even though in her heart, she sincerely wished he was. How much more magnified was this feeling now that Takaki was with her, having dinner with her parents, and discussing her budding relationship with him?

Takaki considered the question from Mrs. Sumida for a short time before answering, "That's a good point, I could always do freelance work. I could work from anywhere, I suppose."

Until that moment, he hadn't really given enough serious thought to what he would do about his job search. His original plan of looking for work in Tokyo, obviously would have to change now that Kanae was in the picture. He had never considered how meeting Kanae that day in the park could so dramatically change his future. Hitherto, he had been focused only on himself and what he was going to do, but at the same time, he had been afflicted with a deep and pervasive apathy, like nothing in his life really mattered, and it really didn't make any difference what kind of work he ended up doing. In a flash, he now found himself visualizing a future with Kanae in it. He pictured himself, working and living in Tanegashima or Kagoshima. He pictured what would happen if he did that. Perhaps he would visit Kanae regularly, or she would follow him if he moved. After all, he had no doubt she could find work as a nurse, wherever she went. He felt a sudden conviction that, no matter what, they would do whatever it took to make things work between them. The harbinger of future situations and scenarios flashed through his mind in that instant, like the conditional decision tree from an algorithm of a computer program, and he felt himself losing some of that former apathy and indifference toward his life. He felt himself slowly regaining his will to live.

After dinner, Kanae showed Takaki her room. It hadn't changed much since her school days. It was a fairly small room, with her futon mattress in the middle, an organizer rack hanging off the wall, a coffee table, and a bookshelf. Her bookshelf was lined with an assortment of nursing texts, old school yearbooks, picture albums, and a handful of romance novels. A single poster of a popular contemporary band decorated her closet wall.

"Well," Kanae said, pointing her room out to Takaki. "Here's the room I grew up in."

"It's nothing much," she added self-consciously as Takaki walked around, looking at the books on her shelf.

"It's nice," Takaki said. "Very clean and neat compared to mine."

Kanae laughed at that. She looked down at her mattress and thought to herself, _that's the bed I cried myself to sleep on after you told me you couldn't return my feelings. _She remembered how she had cradled her old dog, Cubb, now several years deceased, and poured out her feelings to him, her dog, her only friend and confidant in that moment.

_I'll still love you. Forever and ever._

Takaki spotted one of her old photo albums on the bookshelf. He pointed to it.

"Do you mind?"

"Not at all, you can look if you want," Kanae said.

Takaki flipped through the photo album. It consisted entirely of pictures taken during their high school years. Most of the pictures involved Kanae with her family as well as her friends from school, mainly Saki and Yukko. A few pictures with their other friend Sasaki made an appearance. Toward the end of the album, he noted a single picture with the two of them together.

"I remember that," Takaki said with a smile. "That was at the school's culture fair, just before we graduated."

He studied the picture, which depicted him and Kanae standing together in the hallway next to the haunted house exhibit. He noticed how different they looked in that picture. Takaki's smile was soft and slight, barely showed his teeth, which was how he always looked back then. He always gave an air of being cool, calm, collected, distant, and above everything. Even in this photo, his eyes had the glossy appearance of someone looking beyond the photographer, straining to see something in the distance. His smile looked almost like an ironic smile, a forced smile, one that came from wanting to please Kanae rather than from the heart. Next to him, Kanae, leaning in his direction, close to him but not touching him, smiled radiantly. Her eyes were bright and joyful. It showed none of the pain she was feeling inside, the wound in her heart that lingered from the day of the launch, when she had wanted to confess her feelings but could not.

Close, but not touching. No arms around each other. No snuggling or leaning against each other to get close for the picture. In a way, it epitomized Kanae's entire relationship with Takaki.

"I wanted to have a picture with you," Kanae remembered, "that's why I asked Yukko to take that picture. I wanted just one picture of you and me together."

Takaki understood in that moment. She had wanted a picture of him and her together, but could not find an occasion or a pretext to have one taken that wouldn't seem strange or out of the ordinary. So, she had contrived to have a friend take a picture of them during a festive event, like the culture fair, where everyone was taking pictures, and no one would even think twice about it.

"I would always come back to this picture," Kanae said, feeling the emotions come back to her. She started remembering the way it felt, as a teenager, to gaze at the picture alone and imagine an entire loving relationship between her and Takaki, in her head. She would start conceiving all the various romantic scenarios with them together, which would result in this picture being taken to capture the memory for fond reflection later. But instead, when she looked at the picture, after a while she would come back to the reality that they were so far apart, not just physically, but emotionally, and the thought would bring fresh heartache.

"I was always looking at you, wanting to be with you,"Kanae said.

"I hope," Takaki said with a smile, "that we'll take much better pictures from now on."

Kanae smiled as Takaki bid her good night. Alone with her thoughts, she gazed at the picture once more. No longer would she feel so much regret and loss when she saw it. There would be no crying to sleep, feeling the heartache of longing for him. For the first time in a long time, she went to bed with a feeling of calm and contentment.

_Author's Note_

_As Kanae's father is not shown in the anime/manga, I decided I needed to invent his appearance and personality._


	5. The Feeling that Reaches at Last

_"Then we longed to be loved, in the rush, we become_

_Some things we thought we'd never be_

_We were surprised by our heart, left weary and scarred_

_From the nights spent feeling incomplete..."_

_-Airborne Toxic Event_

As he heard the wind whipping around him and felt the cool salt spray against his face, Takaki squinted his eyes against the glare of the morning sun on the water and wondered if he was in his right mind and if maybe he should have stayed nice and dry on the shore. He would never in his life have imagined that he would be out in the ocean, with Kanae, attempting to learn how to surf. Although he knew how to swim, he never considered himself much of a swimmer and preferred to stay out of the water. He remembered watching Kanae surf when they were in high school and thinking how difficult it must be. Wanting to become closer to Kanae and share in her life more, he had timidly asked her if she would teach him how to surf. He was gratified to see how much joy that request brought to Kanae, who had enthusiastically agreed. Now he was out in the water with her, for the first time.

"Come on, Takaki!" Kanae urged him on as they paddled out together away from shore. "You've got to put your arms into it."

"I'm trying," he answered as he felt his arms starting to ache already from the paddling. He couldn't believe how little progress he made with each stroke, or how far he had to go to get to the best wave-catching spot. He was shocked by how out of breath he was. _It must be from all that cigarette smoking_, he thought to himself.

Kanae, starting to put some distance between her and Takaki, noticed she was starting to leave him behind, so she slowed down.

"I'm so excited you're out here with me," she said cheerfully.

Takaki, making no answer, could only look at her and marvel at how strong and capable she seemed. Her body was so slender yet toned. She had developed a nice tan from so much time spent at the beach, but not so much that it came off as overdone. At length they reached a good spot to catch some waves. They were alone that morning, just the two of them out in the ocean. The wind calmed down a bit, so that Takaki could hear the sporadic cry of the seagulls.

The two lay on their boards on the water, resting as the undulating waves passed beneath them. The feel of the water soothed Takaki's mind. He felt so relaxed that he could almost doze off right here on his board.

"Are you ready, Takaki?"

They turned to look behind them and noticed a swell forming.

"When it's time, you have to paddle as hard as you can, and then get on top the board."

"Okay, I got it."

"Here it comes. Let's go!"

The two paddled furiously as a small wave reached them. By some minor miracle, Takaki felt himself being carried along with the momentum of the wave. He felt he was matching the speed of the wave, that this was what he was supposed to be doing. He quickly got to his knees and stood up on the board, riding the 3-foot wave all the way. Next to him, he saw Kanae staring at him in shock. It was an incredible feeling. Even though the wave was fairly small, riding it for the first time felt like a major accomplishment. Never before had he felt so free, light, and just letting himself be carried along by the currents.

Once they had gotten close to shore, Kanae hopped off her board and ran to Takaki in thigh high water. He waded through the water to meet her.

"You were great, Takaki! You got it on your first time. I can't believe it. It took me six months to be able to ride a good wave."

Inwardly though, she reflected that perhaps it was her constant preoccupation with him that had kept her from successfully riding the wave. It was a mental block, more than anything else, the barrier she thought she needed to conquer in order to confess to him.

"I had a good teacher," Takaki said softly, which brought out a blush from Kanae.

From the road, away from the beach, Kanae's sister watched the two of them and smiled, knowing that they were growing one step closer to each other.

Many mornings, Takaki would join Kanae out on the beach, and sometimes he would be successful in catching a wave, sometimes not. He could not fail to notice how appallingly out of shape he had become as an adult, compared to Kanae, who had always been so limber and athletic. The worst part was the way he would feel his heart racing and get short of breath just paddling out from the shore. But he did it anyway because he felt as if it was somehow renewing his body. Sometimes, he would simply float on his back in the water, letting the water lap against his face and the breaking waves wash gently over him. The morning sun would be visible but the air would always be cool at that time in the morning. He liked drifting like that, carefree, without a single worry. All his life, Takaki had thought he needed to live at the speed of the rest of the world, trying to keep up, reaching out desperately for the faraway future he thought he needed to find. He had never once considered that one day he would come back to live in Tanegashima. All his life, he thought of it only as a place where he had once lived. His parents were in Nagano, on distant Honshu, where they would probably stay forever. As the days turned to weeks, and weeks turned to months, he felt himself growing accustomed to the pace of life on the island, the early mornings spent with Kanae before she had to go to work, surfing together sometimes or just going for walks with no real destination, working on his job search from the home, conversing with Kanae's parents when she wasn't there, dinners spent with the entire family, and the visits to Kanae's sister. On the weekends, he would go out on dates with Kanae, just the two of them, the way it was always supposed to be, usually out to dinner or to a movie, in town.

One early morning, three months into his time in Tanegashima, Takaki stood along the road off the beach, leaned against the rail, and contented himself with watching Kanae surf. He liked watching her surf, he always had. She was so graceful, so strong. When she caught each wave, he could see the thrill on her face and the joy in her eyes, and he sensed her feeling of triumph. Kanae's sister stood next to him, and they watched her together.

Takaki took out a cigarette and was on the verge of lighting it, when he stopped what he was doing. He looked down at the cigarette in his hand. How many times had he been doing this to himself, all the smoking and drinking? Even though he heard no complaint, he sensed that Kanae disapproved of his smoking habit and gradually, he had managed to cut back on his smoking. He did not feel as if he was physically addicted to smoking. He thought he could quit at any time. It had only been a way for him to forget about the pain he felt from Akari.

_I was lost and weak_, he thought to himself, _and this was one of my crutches. I thought I didn't care anymore about what happened to me because nothing else mattered. _

He crushed the cigarette in his hand and stuffed it into his pocket.

"Going to give it up finally?" Kanae's sister said, peering at him from the corner of her eye.

"Trying to."

"I always knew about you, Takaki," Kanae's sister said. "I knew how much she loved you. She shared everything with me, you know. There was the time she tried to confess to you outside the Ai Shop, the time she gave up after watching the rocket launch with you, and the time she finally did confess to you at the airport. She showed me all the places at school where she used to meet you. There was that spot by the bicycle rack where she would wait for you to be done with your archery practice. You knew she was waiting for you, didn't you?"

"Yes, I think I knew."

"When you left, my sister was so heartbroken. But she was strong enough to pick herself up and keep living."

Takaki felt a deep ache of regret, thinking back to his teenage self and the way he had turned his back on a chance at love. He could picture Kanae watching alone from behind the fence at the airport as he departed into the sky, that day he had left for Tokyo. He could see now her expression of devastation and loss, seeing someone so dear to her become nothing more than a memory. Her lips, trembling with his name, calling him softly, pleading to the skies for him to stay. Her eyes, welling with tears of deep sadness from the depths of her soul. From time to time, he had thought back to those high school days and remembered all the little impressions he had gathered from Kanae. Her warm smile, her slender figure, her eyes, her short brown hair, the sound of her voice, the smell of her hair, even the smell of her sweat. He remembered everything because he had spent so much time with her. He didn't see how he could have done things any differently back then. But even still, he felt regret knowing what a great girl she was and how much she had loved him; he had never given her a chance from the start.

"You know, it was me who suggested she come to Tokyo," Kanae's sister went on as they watched Kanae ride another large wave. The surf was quite high today, waves of 5-7 feet.

"I knew she was suffering. Something was holding her back. She cried to me one day at the beach, because she didn't know what to do. She wanted to know if she still truly did love you. Part of her wanted just one more chance to see you. If she saw you and could learn how she really felt and how you felt about her, she could move on. She would have been able to come back with no regrets."

Kanae's sister touched Takaki's hand for a brief moment.

"You were her shining star," she said. "You were the wish that was beyond her reach. I encouraged her to chase that wish, just one last time, because I wanted her to have a life free of regrets, no matter what, if she fell in love and got married with someone else, she wouldn't ever look back on you and wonder what if? What if I had gone and tried to find Takaki Tohno one more time, find out what the possibilities were? What if I could just have a little more time - just one day, one word, one heartbeat? How then would my life had changed? She's my sister and I love her."

She looked Takaki seriously in the eye.

"Do _you_ love her?"

Takaki struggled with that question. All his adult life, he had found himself unable to be honest with his feelings. He thought that falling in love too quickly would be a mistake that would only lead to him getting hurt. Wounds carved into his heart from previous relationships had left him reluctant to say "I love you." Those magic words carried so much weight.

"I don't know yet," he said at last. "I like being with her. I care about her. I know don't ever want to make her cry again."

"Good," Kanae's sister said. "Because I won't ever forgive you if you do."

They turned their attention back to Kanae, watching her paddle out to catch another wave.

"Kanae is strong," her sister said. "Stronger than me, I think. But deep down, I think she has a wounded heart. I hope you can heal her, Takaki. I know only you can do it. I know you're doing that already. She's changed since coming home. Her smile is brighter, her voice is more upbeat, the way she walks, she seems to have more energy. Her love for you gives her strength."

Takaki only nodded as he watched Kanae come in from the water.

Slowly, as time went by on the island, Takaki felt something was changing in his heart. A new feeling was growing in him, it happened with every little moment he shared with Kanae. There were so many things he was growing to like about her as he observed her, both from near and afar. Every time they went out together, whether it be for dinner, or a movie, or just for a walk along the country road, he could tell in the way she looked at him, spoke to him, and smiled at him, how deep her feelings were toward him. All the impressions he remembered from their teenage years came back to him, but instead of being connected to feelings of regret, they were now linked with feelings of desire and longing for her. He especially enjoyed visiting Kanae at the hospital where she worked. Sometimes he would even bring her flowers, as he did on her birthday, which drew much gossip and interest from Kanae's fellow nurses. He could tell she was a very good nurse, full of compassion and empathy toward the patients under her care, always smiling, always encouraging with a gentle touch or even just a single word. He had never realized just how nurturing she could be. At times, while watching Kanae work, he would find himself wanting to become ill, just so she could tend to him and take care of him. A thought occurred to him, one day, that _that_ was what she had been doing for him all along. She was healing him through her loving touch. His mind, body, spirit, but most of all, his heart, was filled with a feeling of completeness.

It had been three months since Takaki had moved to Tanegashima. Kanae, having just arrived home from a late shift at work, found a message on her phone. It was a text message from Takaki. She had once shared with him how she had noticed he was always writing text messages to someone, when they were younger, and how fervently she had wished it was _her_ he was writing to. After that, Takaki sent frequent messages to Kanae, almost every day, never anything really big, usually something as simple as "how is your day going?" Yet each message from him, no matter how trivial it seemed, brought joy to her heart.

Takaki: I'm at the hill. Come out and join me?

Kanae knew exactly where Takaki was referring to. It was the hill where they had once sat, one night as teenagers, and talked beneath the stars. It was the first time that Kanae had ever heard Takaki express any feelings of doubt. It was then that Kanae had folded her career plan into a paper airplane and sent it soaring into the night sky. Sometimes, late at night, they would ride out there together on their mopeds and just lie down on the grassy hill and talk under the stars.

It was an especially beautiful night sky, that night. There was no moon. There were no clouds in the sky either. With little in the way of light pollution from city lights to dilute the brilliance of the stars, Takaki and Kanae could endlessly admire the endless multitude of the heavens. Sometimes Takaki would even bring out his telescope, and he would patiently point out the planets and constellations to her. She would forget what he taught her most of the time, but he didn't seem to mind pointing out the same stars to her, again.

She found Takaki alone on the grassy hill, holding an unlit cigarette in his hand and turning over and over. He had no intention of smoking it. He had quit smoking entirely just a few weeks before. Sometimes, he liked to just hold it in his hand and stare at it, without lighting it. It was a reminder of the man he used to be.

"Hi there," Kanae said softly. Takaki saw her approach, smiled, and put the cigarette back into his pocket. The two gazed at the night sky for a moment in silence. So many stars filled the sky. Kanae looked up at them in wonder and started thinking about her life, how so many people come and go into our lives, how if you counted them, they would be as numerous as the stars in the sky. She had lost Takaki's star for a long time, but out of a miracle, she had managed to find him once more and bring him back into her orbit.

"I got a job," Takaki said. "Freelance programming job."

"You did? That's great," Kanae said, although part of her was worried that would mean his leaving her.

Takaki sensed the trepidation and fear in her voice.

"Don't worry, I won't be leaving. I did decide to get my own place, an apartment, not too far from your house."

"I hope we can still each other as often as we are now," Kanae said, relief flooding her body right away.

"We will. I'll make sure of it."

Kanae turned to Takaki and saw him looking into her eyes.

"I like it here on the island," Takaki said. "I feel like this is the place where I always needed to be. I feel like I'm finally home... with you..."

Kanae felt her heart start to speed up as she realized how close their faces were as they sat down next to each other. Their faces were separated by mere inches, close enough for them to kiss. Takaki realized it too, and he was inspired by a sudden desire to kiss Kanae.

They closed their eyes. Neither of them said a word. There was no need for words. The only sound they could hear was the soft whistling of the wind brushing the grass around them as their lips touched.

For only the second time in his life, Takaki felt the joy and peace in that one kiss, a feeling he had not felt in so many years, the feeling that he had touched eternity, and that there was nothing else in the world for them in that moment. New impressions filled his senses now as he kissed Kanae. The warm softness of her lips, the slight moisture, the indescribable taste of Kanae. He smelled again the faint smell of her shampoo, and the freshness of her body soap, which indicated to him that she had just showered. He felt himself sensing Kanae in new ways, and that, without seeing her, he was now truly sensing her essence for the first time. He knew that nothing would ever compare to the feeling he had gotten from that kiss with Akari, but in that moment, his heart felt at peace. He felt, he understood something at last - that everything he had ever gone through, all the suffering, all the loneliness, all the despair, had led him to this one moment in time, to the woman that he now knew in his heart that he wanted to share his life with. Ten years ago, it was the wrong time; he understood that. There was no other way he could have acted toward Kanae, but now his heart was finally ready, at a place finally where her feelings could reach him at last. He felt Kanae putting her feelings into the kiss, and he even tasted a hint of salt from the tears that rolled down her face. Their lips separated and they looked at each other.

"I'm sorry," Kanae said, rubbing her eyes and smiling, "It's just that I'm so happy."

Takaki smiled as he reached over to brush her tears off her face.

"I told your sister I wouldn't make you cry," he said. "She'll be upset with me."

"Kiss me... again..." Kanae said shyly, and their lips met again. This time the kiss was deeper, more passionate, and Kanae put her arms around Takaki as he kissed her. He did the same, and her heart skipped a beat. _So this is what it feels like to kiss Takaki, to have his arms around me,_ she thought. It was a wonderful new sensation, one that she believed she would never tire of. She felt all the pain, all the longing, all the anguish, all the disappointment, finally melting completely away from her heart, and in their place was a newfound feeling of pure joy. Her dream for Takaki was finally coming true. She knew now that she had nothing to fear. All along she was afraid that her happiness was only temporary, that perhaps he would decide he didn't want to be with her after all, and that her heart would be broken once again.

When the kiss was over, Kanae was again crying uncontrollably. She laughed through her tears.

"What's the matter with me," she stammered. "I can't stop crying."

Takaki brushed away the tears again with both hands and tenderly cupped her face in them. He looked into her eyes, reflecting that they were so much more beautiful than the stars, because they were filled with love for him. Then he uttered the words she had always longed to hear, the words she had heard only in her fondest dreams, the words that showed her that her life would be forever transformed...

"I love you, Kanae."

_To be concluded_


	6. Epilogue

_The dream always started the same way. A clear night sky, illuminated by countless shining stars, brilliant clouds of color forming nebulae, and splashes of light from far away galaxies. Takaki could lose himself staring into that sky all night long. As he brought his eyes downward, he started seeing the clouds gathering along the horizon, he could feel the wind picking and whipping against his clothes, and he could almost see a sliver of light from the rising sun. He was always on a faraway world, an alien landscape, and stretching in front of the hill he stood on lay an ocean of barren craters and dead trees. As the sun rose, he would become aware of someone sitting next to him. A woman. The sun came up, blinding in its brilliance, and he would turn to his right, trying to see her face. Most of the time, he could never make out her face. One time, when he was in high school, he dreamed it was Akari, sitting next to him. She smiled at him and said nothing. He wanted so much to reach out to her, touch her, and tell her all the feelings he had held back that day they had last seen each other. That's when he would start to realize that he was dreaming, because he knew that such things could never be, and a stab of deep sadness would penetrate his heart._

_He felt his eyes adjusting to the light. The landscape was the same, always the same. The starry night was the same. Everything was the same this time, like always. He looked to his side at the woman who sat next to him. She stood up and turned her head to face him. _

_Kanae._

_For the first time, he saw Kanae standing next to him. She was smiling. Her eyes were soft and kind. She opened her mouth to say something, but in the wind, he could not hear her._

Takaki woke up. He slowly sat up in bed and looked at the clock. It was early in the morning, almost 6:00.

"That dream again," he said softly to himself.

Almost one year into their relationship, Kanae traveled with Takaki to Nagano to meet his parents. Each day, Kanae could feel herself growing closer and closer to Takaki. He was the rocket flying off into space that she never could catch up to. She was the much slower rocket. But now, either she had managed to catch up, or he had slowed down. She felt she was finally living at the same speed. Each day, she would see Takaki, to have dinner after work, or to go out on dates during the weekend. Occasionally, he still accompanied her on surfing. On days when she had the misfortune of not seeing him, they always called each other to talk on the phone. They would talk about both small and big things, sometimes she felt she talked to him for no other reason but to hear the sound of his voice. He was always the last person she would talk to before sleeping. Kanae thought that if for some reason, they failed to talk, she would go to sleep with a deep unsettled anxiety in her heart. And each night, before they said goodbye, Takaki always closed with those precious words.

_"I love you."_

Kanae introduced Takaki to everyone who was important to her, in Tanegashima. When Saki came back to visit, she would join Kanae, Takaki, and Yukko for dinner, where they would reminisce.

_"We knew how much she loved you, even back then," Saki said to Takaki, as Kanae sat next to him, her face slightly crimson, her hand clutching Takaki's tightly under the table._

_"We were always asking her about how things were progressing, if she was ever going to confess to you," Yukko added._

_"She was always looking at you," Saki said with a smile. "Always."_

_"We're so happy to see the two of you together, after all these years," Yukko said._

_After dinner, when Takaki went to the restroom, the girlfriends prodded Kanae for more details, if they had had all their "firsts" yet. Had they met each other's parents? Were they growing closer as a couple? Did they take any trips together yet? How was their first kiss? Did they make love yet?_

_"No, not yet," Kanae said. "I'm not ready for that yet."_

_"I see," Yukko said. "You're waiting for marriage."_

_"Ma-marriage?" Kanae stuttered, blushing. She had not really spoken of it to anyone, but deep in her heart it was her fondest wish. _

_"Have you discussed it yet?" Saki said._

_"No. Not really. I'm afraid to bring it up. I don't want to scare him away. Maybe he's not ready either."_

_"Well," Saki said, "He did move all the way down here for you. That's a good sign, right?"_

Kanae played back these conversations in her head as she stared out the window of the moving train, speeding through the snowy landscape, carrying her to Takaki's parents. Takaki looked with her out the window, but his mind thought back to something different. A sadder memory, of times long past, when he had traveled alone at the age of thirteen all the way to Iwafune to meet Akari. So much waiting, so much agonizing and checking his watch. He remembered all the feelings of that night, the feeling of wanting to see Akari so badly, but feeling guilty that she was waiting for him. He remembered the eight page letter he had taken two whole weeks to write, which had contained all his feelings and dreams, and in which he closed with the words, "I love you, Akari." They were words he could not muster up the courage to say that night. He had never liked taking the trains after that. Every time he rode a train, especially at night during the winter, he would think back to that fateful night with Akari and their first kiss, and feel the pain of knowing that they were destined never to be together...

Those times were gone now. Now he had a wonderful woman next to him, at his side. He hoped she would always stay by his side. With Kanae, he could finally forget, not Akari, but the pain he felt in his heart from losing Akari. He would always remember and cherish Akari. But he could now look forward to sharing his dreams with Kanae.

The train pulled into the station.

Takaki and Kanae stepped off the train, onto the platform. Takaki's parents were both standing there, waiting. Takaki felt a lump in his throat when he saw them again. It had been more than a year since he had seen his parents. He rarely even called them, maybe once a month. He thought that, deep in his heart, in his adolescence, he resented his parents a little because of all the moving. If he had never had to move to Kagoshima for junior high... he might have stayed closer to Akari, and they could have had a future together. That's what he thought sometimes. He had had several girlfriends, one for as long as three years, but never had he brought one of them home to meet his parents. He had never felt the relationship progress to the point where he had wanted to do that. Perhaps that explained the expression of pure joy on his parents' faces when they beheld Kanae for the first time.

After embracing his mother and father, Takaki stepped back and gestured toward his girlfriend.

"Mom, Dad," he said, "I want you to meet my girlfriend... Kanae Sumida."

Kanae, smiling radiantly, bowed and said, "It's so nice to meet you."

"Oh Kanae," Mrs. Tohno said, stepping forward and clasping her hands. "We've heard so much about you."

Mrs. Tohno folded Kanae into a warm embrace.

Takaki's father wiped his eye a little. "We were starting to think this day would never come. Takaki never brought home a woman before."

"Dad," Takaki said, "Please, stop. You're embarrassing me."

Kanae laughed. "I was the same way," she said. "I never brought a man home until Takaki."

They laughed together as they departed the station.

Takaki and Kanae spend the weekend at his parents' place. They were both so eager and happy to entertain Kanae, Takaki almost felt like they were completely different people. When Takaki and Kanae found themselves alone, Kanae asked about his parents.

"Your parents are so nice," she said happily. "I love them."

"They really love you," Takaki said.

As Kanae kissed Takaki good night, she felt joy in her heart, knowing that she had come one step closer to the man she loved.

On the one year anniversary of their relationship, Takaki asked Kanae to meet him at the beach at sunrise.

Kanae was curious to know what this was about. It wasn't for surfing. He had just said he wanted to see her so they could enjoy the sunrise together.

"I wonder if he remembers it's our anniversary," Kanae said. She hoped so. Perhaps he had something special planned.

She found Takaki standing alone at the top of the beach. The sun still had not yet risen. The beach was cloaked in darkness. She could still see the faint stars above. The wind whipped around her, and she felt a brief chill. Kanae huddled under her jacket and shivered for a moment.

"Good morning, Takaki," she said.

Takaki turned to her and smiled. He reached out with his hand and Kanae took it. They held hands on the beach and watched the small sliver of light on the horizon.

"I know what day today is," Takaki said.

Kanae looked at him and smiled. He was still looking toward the sunrise. The sun's sliver developed further, throwing brighter colors into the sky and reflecting off the ocean. Gradually, it became bright enough to become blinding, and they had to shield their eyes as the darkness vanished completely.

They sat down on the sand.

"When we were in school together," Takaki said, "I would always have this dream. I'd dream that I was watching the sunrise over an alien planet. I don't know why. Maybe it's because I wanted to be an astronaut when I was younger. You could see all the stars and planets above so clearly. It was so beautiful. There was always a woman next to me. And I would feel sad in the dream because that's when I would realize I was really dreaming, and that I would wake up alone. It was because that woman was just a memory. She didn't exist for me anymore. I was chasing a ghost. I kept having that dream, over and over."

Kanae said nothing as she looked into Takaki's eyes. She grasped his hand tightly, to let him know he didn't have to feel alone anymore.

"I had the dream again, not too long ago," Takaki said. "But this time it was different. This time, you were in my dream. We were watching the sunrise together. I didn't have that sad lonely feeling anymore. I felt happy for the first time. I think it must mean that you're in my heart now, Kanae. I don't have to look and search for someone who isn't there. The woman I needed was right in front of me the whole time. All these years, I was suffering. I couldn't allow myself to be happy. I couldn't move on from what happened to me in the past. I was a prisoner... You set me free."

Takaki pulled out a small jewelry box from his pocket and got on one knee, moving himself right in front of Kanae.

Kanae felt her heart stop as she looked at Takaki and realized what was happening. All the times she had spent with Takaki, both good and bad, came back to her. All the pain and heartbreak she had gone through as a teenager, and all the happiness of being reunited with Takaki as an adult, came back to her.

Takaki opened the box to reveal a shining diamond ring.

"Kanae," Takaki said with a smile, "I love you so much. I want to take the next step with you. Let's always be together, forever. Will you marry me?"

Kanae threw her arms around Takaki. For a while, all she could do was utter his name.

"Takaki," she said, hugging him tightly. She felt his arms around her, and tried her best to commit this feeling to memory. This was the moment when all her dreams came true.

"Takaki!" she said again, hugging him.

_I love you so much_, she wanted to say. _ I always knew you were special. I always wanted to be near you. I thought I would never see you again, but I was blessed with a second chance. You finally saw me for who I was, and you loved me. You let me in and showed me all the good and bad things about you, even the parts that maybe you didn't want anyone else to see. But I was so happy that you shared all those things with me. I can't wait to share even more things with you._

Kanae wanted to say all that, but the words were choked up in her throat.

Instead, she cried out one more time, _"Takaki!"_ and embraced him even more tightly.

_I can't wait to share the rest of my life with you._

A vision of the future, blinding in its clarity, came to Kanae in that moment. All the lines of fate interwoven throughout their lives had converged on this one spot. She saw the future clearly for the first time. Love, marriage, children, family. Through it all, Takaki would be at her side, always encouraging, always supporting, always loving. There would be hard times, maybe, even some fights and arguments, but they would always make up, because they would both remember how much trials they had gone through to find one another. She knew they would never take their love for granted. She saw them having so many adventures and experiences together, and growing old together. When it was all over, they could leave this life with no regrets. Kanae thought of all these things and felt that now, her life was finally complete. That hole in her heart had healed completely.

Kanae looked Takaki in the eyes. She felt the tears welling up.

"Yes," she said blissfully, smiling and crying at the same time, as Takaki slipped the ring onto her finger.

Takaki put his hands on her face and leaned in to kiss her.

_Takaki... I love you!_

"Happy anniversary," Takaki said.

The wedding took place three months later. It was a small affair, a western style wedding held in a small chapel. Very few people were present. On Takaki's side, only his parents and grandparents. He didn't feel that he had any friends close enough to invite to his wedding. On Kanae's side, her parents, grandparents, her sister and family, Saki, and Yukko with her husband were in attendance. Kanae didn't mind the small size of the wedding. She had never had any preconceived dreams of what her dream wedding would be like; she was marrying Takaki and nothing else mattered. As the minister had her recite the vows, Kanae could not help choking up during the service. Her voice faltered; her eyes welled up in tears. It was all she could do to hold herself together in front of everyone.

_God, I must be such a mess_, she thought to herself as she recited the time honored vows. _I cry over the littlest thing now. How embarrassing._

But, as she looked into Takaki's eyes and saw his warm smile, and as she felt him reach over to wipe the tears away from her face, she reminded herself this was one of the qualities that he found so endearing, the way she was unafraid to show her feelings and wear her emotions on her sleeve.

When it was Takaki's turn to recite his vows, Kanae looked into his eyes again and noticed the way his voice, too, faltered a bit from the emotion, and his eyes glistened slightly, but he refrained from openly weeping. He was always like that, she reflected. She rarely saw him cry in front of her.

As they slipped the wedding bands onto each other's fingers, Kanae felt the buildup of tension in her heart. The moment was finally arriving, the moment when the officiant minister would proclaim them man and wife, and tell Takaki he could kiss the bride. The veil was lifted slowly, and they gazed into each other's eyes. There had always been a thin veil between them, all these years. Kanae reflected on all the lonely nights she had spent longing for Takaki, wishing against all hope that he would see her, even if for just a moment. He had always looked through her, past her, to something or someone far away and unreachable. He had spent his nights looking into the sky, wishing on a star a hundred million light years away, for the chance at a life he felt always just beyond the reach of his fingertips. Now his eyes were on her and her alone. She wondered what was going through his mind as her own thoughts raced through her own...

_Am I beautiful enough for you?_

_Can I be the one who will make you happy?_

_I promise to love you all the days of my life. _

_I'll give you everything, all of myself, my heart, my body, my mind, my soul, until there is nothing left to give._

Her thoughts melted away with their first kiss as husband and wife, and Kanae savored each sensation, the softness of his lips, the feel of his arms around her, holding her close; she felt herself sinking into him, like an unending fall in a dream from which she hoped never to awaken.

That night, when the reception had ended and everyone had gone home, Kanae and Takaki made love for the first time. It was Kanae's first sexual experience, and she let him know that fact. She was nervous, but ready and willing to give herself completely to him. In the quiet darkness of their hotel room, with nothing but the moonlight filtering in through the curtains, they sat next to each other, naked before each other. Every kiss, every touch, every caress produced a warm tingling sensation throughout her whole body, filling her with a desire and a hunger for more. She wanted him so badly, she had no fear of any pain as she pulled him inside of her and they moved together.

_Closer_, she thought. _I want to be closer to him._

She hugged him tightly as he moved inside of her, gasping with each thrust, and when they had climaxed together, they clasped hands and cried each other's name in ecstasy and joy.

The next day, there were more "firsts" for Kanae to enjoy and savor. First morning together as a married couple. Waking up next to her husband, both of them naked beneath their covers and the aura of their night of passion lingering in the air. Partaking their first breakfast together, enjoying the room service. Returning to Takaki's home, now _their_ home, where, just before entering, Takaki lifted Kanae off of her feet and into his arms, carrying her across the threshold, and proclaiming to no one except themselves, "We're home."

There would be many more "firsts" to come in their marriage. And seconds, and thirds, and so on, until she no longer had to keep count anymore.

Twenty Years Later

As Takaki walked back alone to his house in Tanegashima, where he and Kanae still lived, he saw a sight that gave him pause. He had stepped out to do a shopping errand at Kanae's request. His daughter, now thirteen and looking very much like her mother, was walking home accompanied by a boy her age. As he neared them, he observed them from a distance. They did not see him approach. In the darkness of twilight, with only the light from inside his kitchen window illuminating them, he could not make out much. He could tell they were having a conversation which seemed to be causing both of them some embarrassment, as both teenagers had faint blushes on their cheeks.

As he drew near, he overheard bits and pieces of their conversations, something about what senior high school they would be going to. He seemed anxious to know which one she would be attending, and expressed relief that they would both be going to the same high school. An expression of pure rapture enveloped the young man's face, one that Takaki imagined he would have shown if Akari could have gone to the same school as him, back in the day. His daughter Yukie also smiled happily; the feeling appeared to be mutual.

"Want to walk home together tomorrow?" he asked timidly.

"Yes!" Yukie said, her shyness masking her enthusiasm.

The boy smiled. He stepped forward toward her as she did the same, with his arm outstretched, as if wanting to take her hand, but out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Takaki's approach, and stopped himself.

"I'll see you tomorrow then!"

"See you," Yukie said.

Yukie noticed Takaki and watched him as he met her at the steps of their home.

"Yukie," he said. "Welcome home."

"Dad," Yukie said, nodding but not making eye contact. She made as if to go into the house straightaway, but Takaki put a hand on her shoulder.

"Was that a friend of yours?" he asked softly.

She nodded.

"He seems to like you a lot," Takaki observed.

She nodded again.

"What's his name?"

"Seiji," she whispered.

Takaki paused at that. He wondered if they addressed each other by their first names, the way he had with a certain girl, long ago.

"You like Seiji, don't you? As more than a friend?"

Yukie hesitated, a bit bashful discussing such matters with her own father.

Takaki knelt down in front of her and met his daughter's eyes.

"When I was your age, there was a girl I knew who was special to me too," he said. "I thought we would always be together, but it didn't work out that way. I had so many regrets. But we all have a destiny, Yukie. There's someone out there, someone just for you. For me, that someone turned out to be your mom."

Yukie didn't know how to respond to that. She had never heard her father discuss Akari before.

"I guess," Takaki said, reaching out to put a hand on his daughter' shoulder, "I just want you to not be afraid. If there's someone you really like, don't be afraid to tell him how you feel. One day you'll know when the time is right to tell him your feelings, and if you miss your chance, it may never come again. People come in and out of your life. Friendships and feelings may fade. If you don't hold on to the ones you hold dear, the ones you love, the ones who are special, before you know it, they'll be gone."

For some reason, Takaki's words touched Yukie, and, without knowing why, she felt a momentary pang of sadness for the things she was yet to understand.

"Yes, Dad," she replied. "I'll remember."

Takaki leaned in to kiss her on the cheek.

"Let's go inside now, sweetheart," he said.

They entered the home together.

"We're home," they both said in unison.

"Welcome back," Kanae said cheerfully. She was busy cooking dinner.

As the three of them sat down to their curry dinner together, they talked about each other's day, making no mention of what had transpired between young Yukie and the young man that she liked. It was just another school day for their beloved daughter. When it was bedtime, and Yukie had gone to sleep, Takaki and Kanae quietly retired to their bedroom. They made love that night, as they still often did, and when they were finished, they each lay side by side on their futon, looking into each other's eyes.

"I heard your little talk outside with Yukie," Kanae said with a gentle smile.

"Oh, that?" Takaki said, blushing faintly. "I hope you heard the part about how I said you were the someone just for me."

"Yes, I did hear that too. Thank you. Such a nice dad. Instead of warning her about boys, you're giving her love advice."

"Ha," Takaki chuckled. "I guess that means I must be soft."

"I guess so. You big softie," Kanae said as she leaned in to kiss him.

"I just want our daughter to be happy. I want her to live a life with no regrets. I want her to have the courage to express her feelings and chase her dreams, the way you came and reached out to me. I just want to... to support her with everything that I have."

"You're a good father," Kanae said. "And an even better husband. I love you."

Takaki looked into his wife's eyes and thought back to all the years between them, the years of unrequited love, separation, and togetherness. The last twenty years had been, by far, the happiest years of his life. All the memories shared with Kanae, all the places they had been to together, the things they had done, the words and feelings exchanged, filled his heart with wonder. He never knew his life could be this full. He never knew what love really was until Kanae had showed him.

Sometimes, in his most private moments, he thought about Akari. He wondered where she was, if she was doing all right, if she was happy. He hoped she was. Perhaps she had a loving family with children, just like him. The memory of that first kiss, that first love, in the snow under that sakura tree in Iwafune would be a precious memory between them. The chance meeting at their promised spot, before he had left Tokyo, would be their secret, just between the two of them. Feelings fade over time, he learned. He believed now that he could finally look back on her with a smile, as she had wished. Her parting words that day at the train station still lingered with him.

_"You'll be all right, Takaki. I know it."_

_Yes, I am, Akari. You were right about me. You believed in me all this time, even when I didn't believe in it myself._

_I'll always remember._

Takaki gazed thoughtfully into his wife's eyes and reach over to caress her face. He knew how much she liked being touched that way. She was his present... his future... his all. The train of time would move on inexorably, people and places would change with the times, but with his devoted wife Kanae, he felt comfort knowing that she would always be at his side, always loving and persevering in spite of all discouragement.

"I love you, Kanae," he said softly as he kissed her one last time to sleep.

The End


End file.
